PIMP-fest

[Luda]

*Luda's music hit's the PA system and he comes out wearing a green and silver fur coat, with the "The Pimpyish champ you eva' seen!" on the back. He is wearing his standard glasses, his purple hate with black featehr and his purple cain with "luda" written down the side. The crowd are booing loudly, and the ring is set up for an interview type segment, with Lud-a the Dud-a looking as if it is spray painted on the canvas, on a purple carpet with dalmation type armchairs. He gets int othe rign and grabs a mic, but i diffrent type to the standard DUEW type, it is more "old school".*

Luda- I was sittin' out the back, thinkin' what the hell should a PIMP liek me be doin', and I thought - Hell, why not have a little segment!

*Huge booo*

Luda- Get off it! I waste less air time and let out a whole lot less hot air than your boy Jonny!

*Massive boo!*

Luda- Pff hell I don't care, this show is for my entertainment, not yours!

*Another boo*

Luda- Anyhow, I'd like to welcome all you ungratefull souls to LUDA The DUDE-A'S PIMP FEST!

*Huge boo*

Luda- But thsi PIMP fest has a little twist. Yes I will interview someone, yes I will give my opinion on each and every little thing present in DUEW and aroudn the world and yes I wil lend the show with a little competiton - Luda style!

*Boo*

Luda- Anyhow, to get this thing shaking, I'd liek to introduce u all to my very first guest to the Pimp fest - LANCE!

*Mixed reactions are generated from the crowd as Lance makes his way down to the ring. Luda and Lance embrace when he arrives*

Luda- Take a seat my friend

Luda- Now many of you may be asking why LAnce is my guest today. No it's not coz I wanna kick his ass or get any pointers off him, it's beause we both share simialr views, similar concepts - Ain't that right, homie?

Lance- Damn right!

Luda- You know, similar views on current affairs, economy, ohh - HATING LOVER!

*Huge boo and Lover chant begins*

Lance- That's right Luda - I despise the man. He is the dirt under my toe-nail, the fur on my tonuge, the cheese around my..

Luda- WO WO! I totally agree with you, but lets not take it too far...

Lance- The cheese aroudn my mouth

Luda- Oh I see

Lance- This little knob-job just doesnt shut up, nothing I do can silence him! Week after week, defeat after defeat, he seems to become more confident with every loss. This man just does not show any respect for those greater than him - or to those close to him for that matter.

Luda- Yes I can relate. That little rat turned on me, even though I was keepin' us as the tag champs, keepin' the name L & L famous and turning it into a household name. But no - With all that he spat it back in my face!

*Huge boo*

Luda- And Lover, this week I'm finally going to rid myself from the shakles of your continual dependancy and become a free man - flying solo. After I win this week I will have no need for MY tag titles, I will have the biggest prize in the business. something you can't even dream of Lover. Oh I do congratulate you, A match for the aussie Title is an achievement - not one to be proud of, but an achievement none the less...

*Huge boo*

Luda- But unlike you, Lover, I'm goin' to make somethin' of myself! I'm goin' to be something, And I'm goin' to be known as a successful solo wrestler, not some team member!

*He spits on the ground as the crowd let out a huge boo*

Luda- All this talk of success is gettin' me excited! It's time to rap this segment up, Luda style!

*The lights go dim, Luda stands up and grabs a mic. A beat begins to start and the crowd lets out a huge boo, as Lance nods his head to the music*

Luda- The first segment of the Pimpfest is done
And it is only two days until the Heavyweight title will be won
And when Jonny loses his match
At boxing day bash
Maybe he will figure it out
That he ain't worth all the hype and shouts
And if he...

*Jonny's music hits the PA system and Luda is interupted, obviously pissed off. Jonny emerges with his World Title and the crowd let out an enormous cheer*

Jonny...


TBC by Jonny only!

[Jonny Stripes]

Jonny: "If he what?"

Luda looks at Lance and nods. Lance charges at Jonny but Jonny ducks, causing Lance to run right into the ropes. He stumbles backwards stunned but is soon flattened by Jonny shoulder blocking him. Luda takes a few steps back from Jonny, who has now turned to him

Jonny: "If he what? What were you saying Luda?"

Luda: "Look man, lets save it for our match"

Jonny: "No, there has been too much talking around here by everyone and not enough action. All week its either been you, Nicho, Lover or Hare rhyming all your words together. I am sick of it, it is time for somebody to do something"

Luda: "And I suppose you are the one who will save the masses, fool?"

Jonny: "Time and time again I have entertained these people and, well, that trend isnt stopping anytime soon. But I am going to wait, I won't attack you right now"

Jonny turns to go and then he sees Lance is up and waiting. Jonny floors him with a clothesline and a kick to the ribs

Jonny: "Before I go, Luda, watch out, cos the No.1 Spot is pretty high up and if you fall, well it is a long way to the floor and the floor is damn hard"

Luda: "Get off of my show!"

Jonny smiles and Luda turns to look at the crowd. He turns around to see that Jonny is running at him. He ducks dowbn just in time and then charges Jonny himself. But Jonny is too fast and back body drops Luda out of the ring, sending him crashing hard onto the floor

Jonny: "You see Luda, you just fell from the ring to the floor and this week you are tumbling from the very top of the mountain to the floor. Be ready for it, because there won't be any padded floor to land on Monday. See you at the top"

Jonny throws his mike at Luda, who is sitting against the barrier wall, looking up at Jonny angrily. Lance is standing next to him, pointing angrily at him while the crowd are going crazy for Jonny

[Luda]

*As Jonny goes, Luda eventually satnds up and climbs back into the ring, rubbing his back. He sits back down and grabs a mic*

Luda- Alright, dogg, you throw me over the ropes and tell me what the falsl gonna' be like!

*Huge cheer*

Luda- But now that I know what it's liek I don't give a damn, that was pussy shit ya'll!

*huge booo*

Luda- You're gonna have to do much better than that to beat the undebatable - the luda-meister!

*Massive boo*

Luda- And you sayin' you dun't liek my raps - Well screw you coz' i got another one comin' at you!

*The crowd all groan as the lights go black, and a beat begins to happen*

Luda- Alright, alright, mike check 1, 2 yo, ok - here we go!

Yo Jonny I don't like your shit!
Your fall didn't hurt me one little bit
All it showed be was that you are mighty gay
When you were a kid i bet you worked at "Richie's IGA!"
You're gonna have to pull more than that to knock me from the top
And you don't stand a chance you little soft cock
But I won't go on, I won't make a fuss
Just one more thing jonny - MERRY-FUCKIN'-CHRISTMAS!

*Luda shows his two middle fingers at the end and the crowd let out a huge boo. Luda slams the mic down, still red with anger, and storms off*

Luda- PIMPFEST OVER!