Post by Joseph Malone on May 10, 2006 21:37:20 GMT 10
Joey Malone is sitting in a waiting room with a magazine on his lap. He is casually flipping through it but doesn't seem to care. He pats his pockets and pulls out his silver cigarette box and then finds a light and lights it up. A women sitting in the chair next to him is copping the brunt of the smoke and is looking pissed off. She starts to wave her hand in front of her face but Joey seems to not notice. She then proceeds to cough with extreme force but Joey doesn't notice. Eventually she leans over to speak to him
Woman: "Excuse me, you really shouldn't smoke in here. Its a legal office"
Joey: "Look lady, I wait, I smoke. Don't you know who I am?"
Woman: "I think your that guy from the wrestling"
Joey: "What? No no, I'm the guy whose sueing McDonalds. IDIOT!"
Joey takes another drag and puffs the smoke into her face, causing her to get up and walk away. Joey continues to smoke when he is again interupted, this time by a good looking girl
Girl: "Hey there, hi Joey. Remember me, its Alice, we met after ADDU2...I'm your biggest fan!"
Joey looks up at her and looks her over
Joey: "Bout an 8"
Girl: "Whats that?"
Joey knocks his cigarette case to the ground and says
Joey: "I said I dropped my case"
Girl: "Let me get that for you..."
The girl bends down in front of Joey and he says to her rather casually
Joey: "While your down there love"
The girl quickly comes up and throws the cigarette case at him and gives him a big slap to the face, before storming off. Joey rubs his cheek and shrugs his shoulders, before standing up and dusting himself off, as the secretary calls him to see his law team. Joey walks past the secretary and gives her his still lit cigarette butt. He walks right past her as she throws it to the floor and stomps it out. Joey walks right into the room without knocking and his 3 lawyers greet him
Lawyer 1: "Hey Joey...Did you shave badly?"
The lawyers all look at Joey with screwed up eyes and see that he has a beard half shaved onto one side of his face, and then clean on the other side
Joey: "Its my new look, I call it the wave"
Joey makes a wave motion with his hands and the lawyers look confused. Eventually the 2nd lawyer breaks the silence
Lawyer 2: "Joey we called you in today because we want to talk about your case"
Lawyer 3: "Or lack thereof"
Lawyer 1: "You see Joey, McDonalds are a big company and they don't lose these things often"
Joey: "Are you trying to talk me out of my dream? My dream of being on a Maccas figurine?"
Lawyer 2: "Well thats one thing you neglected to tell us, you have actually been on a McDonalds Happy Meal Figurine before"
Lawyer 3: "Twice, I believe"
Lawyer 1: "And one came with a replica Deathmatch title"
The three other men look at him strangely
Lawyer 1: "I got a three year old kid"
The three men continue staring for a moment, before Joey snaps them back to reality
Joey: "Look, I don't care what you say about my case. We don't need a case. We got national TV time on tap. This is not about having a case, this is about having bad publicity. I know we can't win, do you think I'm a monkey? Do you think i'm a fool? We need to pressure those bastards into a settlement"
The three lawyers look stunned. The first one tentatively asks him a question
Lawyer 1: "So, why do you need three lawyers? I mean, this case could go on a year, and you have no chance of winning. How much is that going to cost you?"
Joey: "Nothing, because you two are gay..."
Joey points at the Lawyer 2 and 3, who look shocked but don't deny it
Joey: "...And you molest dogs in public"
Joey pulls out two pictures, one of lawyer 1 and 2 kissing and the other of Lawyer 3 bent behind a dog, his hand out of view
Lawyer 2: "I was whispering into his ear!"
Joey: "And you missed?"
Lawyer 1: "I was picking up its crap!"
Joey: "At 3 AM in the inner city"
Lawyer 3: "You can't prove anything, because we are gonna take those pictures and theres nothing you can do about it"
The three lawyers go to jump on Joey but he fends them off. He traps the first ones legs, causing him to topple. He then gets the other two in consecutive arm bars and pushes them to the floor
Joey: "First of all, I have copies, second of all, there is a reason I am a wrestler and you are lawyers. Don't make me make that reason painfully clear to you all...now, you are all working pro bono for the rest of the case. After that, the pictures and secrets are gone"
The three men agree and Joey smiles maliciously. He takes out a cigarette, lights it up and flicks it onto the first lawyers head, before lighting up another and walking out of the room
Woman: "Excuse me, you really shouldn't smoke in here. Its a legal office"
Joey: "Look lady, I wait, I smoke. Don't you know who I am?"
Woman: "I think your that guy from the wrestling"
Joey: "What? No no, I'm the guy whose sueing McDonalds. IDIOT!"
Joey takes another drag and puffs the smoke into her face, causing her to get up and walk away. Joey continues to smoke when he is again interupted, this time by a good looking girl
Girl: "Hey there, hi Joey. Remember me, its Alice, we met after ADDU2...I'm your biggest fan!"
Joey looks up at her and looks her over
Joey: "Bout an 8"
Girl: "Whats that?"
Joey knocks his cigarette case to the ground and says
Joey: "I said I dropped my case"
Girl: "Let me get that for you..."
The girl bends down in front of Joey and he says to her rather casually
Joey: "While your down there love"
The girl quickly comes up and throws the cigarette case at him and gives him a big slap to the face, before storming off. Joey rubs his cheek and shrugs his shoulders, before standing up and dusting himself off, as the secretary calls him to see his law team. Joey walks past the secretary and gives her his still lit cigarette butt. He walks right past her as she throws it to the floor and stomps it out. Joey walks right into the room without knocking and his 3 lawyers greet him
Lawyer 1: "Hey Joey...Did you shave badly?"
The lawyers all look at Joey with screwed up eyes and see that he has a beard half shaved onto one side of his face, and then clean on the other side
Joey: "Its my new look, I call it the wave"
Joey makes a wave motion with his hands and the lawyers look confused. Eventually the 2nd lawyer breaks the silence
Lawyer 2: "Joey we called you in today because we want to talk about your case"
Lawyer 3: "Or lack thereof"
Lawyer 1: "You see Joey, McDonalds are a big company and they don't lose these things often"
Joey: "Are you trying to talk me out of my dream? My dream of being on a Maccas figurine?"
Lawyer 2: "Well thats one thing you neglected to tell us, you have actually been on a McDonalds Happy Meal Figurine before"
Lawyer 3: "Twice, I believe"
Lawyer 1: "And one came with a replica Deathmatch title"
The three other men look at him strangely
Lawyer 1: "I got a three year old kid"
The three men continue staring for a moment, before Joey snaps them back to reality
Joey: "Look, I don't care what you say about my case. We don't need a case. We got national TV time on tap. This is not about having a case, this is about having bad publicity. I know we can't win, do you think I'm a monkey? Do you think i'm a fool? We need to pressure those bastards into a settlement"
The three lawyers look stunned. The first one tentatively asks him a question
Lawyer 1: "So, why do you need three lawyers? I mean, this case could go on a year, and you have no chance of winning. How much is that going to cost you?"
Joey: "Nothing, because you two are gay..."
Joey points at the Lawyer 2 and 3, who look shocked but don't deny it
Joey: "...And you molest dogs in public"
Joey pulls out two pictures, one of lawyer 1 and 2 kissing and the other of Lawyer 3 bent behind a dog, his hand out of view
Lawyer 2: "I was whispering into his ear!"
Joey: "And you missed?"
Lawyer 1: "I was picking up its crap!"
Joey: "At 3 AM in the inner city"
Lawyer 3: "You can't prove anything, because we are gonna take those pictures and theres nothing you can do about it"
The three lawyers go to jump on Joey but he fends them off. He traps the first ones legs, causing him to topple. He then gets the other two in consecutive arm bars and pushes them to the floor
Joey: "First of all, I have copies, second of all, there is a reason I am a wrestler and you are lawyers. Don't make me make that reason painfully clear to you all...now, you are all working pro bono for the rest of the case. After that, the pictures and secrets are gone"
The three men agree and Joey smiles maliciously. He takes out a cigarette, lights it up and flicks it onto the first lawyers head, before lighting up another and walking out of the room
