Post by Lemmy Campbell on Jul 17, 2006 16:35:20 GMT 10
The camera shows Thin Lizzy and a big crowd infron of it. Inside are Lemmy, his band, Dizzy, Austin and Lover. Lover is dancing with his girls, Austin and two other irls are sitting on the bar and he is telling them about "his" years in the army. Everyone of the band are somewhere around the place and Lemmy and Dizzy are sitting on the bar.
Lemmy: Com' om mate, get us two beers.
Dizzy open two beers and give one to Lemmy.
Lemmy: Cheers mate! For our match.
Dizzy: Let the best man win.
They hit the bottles and drink.
Lemmy: You know lets do it the right way.
Dizzy: What you mean?
Lemmy: I mean the match. This is like a duel, mano to mano, face to face. This is the thing that separet us from the animals. This is something holy. Lets not destroy the beatifull tradition the way Hart and Julio did it. Cheers!
They hit the bottles again and drink.
Lemmy: I mean we will put everything we got in the match but lets not screw eachother out of the match. Lets fight and after that no matter who won go to get a beer together.
Dizzy: Sure!
Lemmy: you know Dizzy you are cool man thats why exept the huge tip I am going to give you I will tell you joke. So...
The joke:
Johnny wanted to screw a girl in his office, but she belonged to someone else.
One day, Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to her and said I'll give you a $1000 dollars if you let me screw you, but the girl said, "No."
Johnny said, "I'll be fast, I'll throw the money on the floor, you bend down, I'll be finished by the time you pick it up."
She thought for a moment and said that she would have to consult her boyfriend. She called her boyfriend and told him the story.
Her boyfriend says "Ask him for $2000 dollars, pick up the money very fast, he won't even be able to get his pants down."
So she agrees and accepts the proposal. Half an hour goes by and the boyfriend is waiting for his girlfriend to call. Finally after 45 minutes the boyfriend calls and asks "What happened?"
She replies "The s.o.b. used coins."
They bouth laughts and drink from the bottles again.
Lemmy: So Dizzy lets sing something together, what are you going to say?
Dizzy: Sure! Why not?
The band goes on the stage and get prepeared to play. Lemmy get his guitar and with Dizzy get on the stage.
Lemmy: OK Dizzy boy we are going to sing something on Disturbed. Ready?
Dizzy: HELL YEAH!
The band starts to play.
Lemmy: You walk on like a woman in suffering
Lemmy & Dizzy: Won't even bother now to tell me why
Dizzy: You come alone, letting all of us savor the moment
L: Leaving me broken another time
D: You come on like a bloodstained hurricane
L: Leave me alone, let me be this time
L&D: You carry on like a holy man pushing redemption
I don't want to mention, the reason I know
D: That I am stricken and can't let you go
L: When the heart is cold, there's no hope, and we know
D: That I am crippled by all that you've done
D&L: Into the abyss will I run...
D: You don't know what your power has done to me
L: I want to know if I'll heal inside
D: I can't go on with a holocaust about to happen
L&D: Seeing you laughing another time
L: You'll never know how your face has haunted me
D: My very soul has to bleed this time
L: Another hole in the wall of my inner defenses
L&D: Leaving me breathless, the reason I know
That I am stricken and can't let you go
L: When the heart is cold, there's no hope, and we know
D: That I am crippled by all that you've done
D&L: Into the abyss will I run...
Into the abyss will I run...
Lemmy: You walk on like a woman in suffering
Lemmy & Dizzy: Won't even bother now to tell me why
Dizzy: You come alone, letting all of us savor the moment
L: Leaving me broken another time
D: You come on like a bloodstained hurricane
L: Leave me alone, let me be this time
L&D: You carry on like a holy man pushing redemption
I don't want to mention, the reason I know
L&D: That I am stricken and can't let you go
L: When the heart is cold, there's no hope, and we know
D: That I am crippled by all that you've done
D&L: Into the abyss will I run...
Into the abyss will I run...
I can't let you go!
Yes I am stricken and can't let you go!
After the song they bond and goes backon the bar.
Lemmy: COME ON MATE MORE BEER! I will be right back. I'll just go find a girl. Coz there arte so beautiful girls around. BBS!
Lemmy starts walking around the bar looking for a girl leaving Dizzy on the bar.
TBC by anyone
Lemmy: Com' om mate, get us two beers.
Dizzy open two beers and give one to Lemmy.
Lemmy: Cheers mate! For our match.
Dizzy: Let the best man win.
They hit the bottles and drink.
Lemmy: You know lets do it the right way.
Dizzy: What you mean?
Lemmy: I mean the match. This is like a duel, mano to mano, face to face. This is the thing that separet us from the animals. This is something holy. Lets not destroy the beatifull tradition the way Hart and Julio did it. Cheers!
They hit the bottles again and drink.
Lemmy: I mean we will put everything we got in the match but lets not screw eachother out of the match. Lets fight and after that no matter who won go to get a beer together.
Dizzy: Sure!
Lemmy: you know Dizzy you are cool man thats why exept the huge tip I am going to give you I will tell you joke. So...
The joke:
Johnny wanted to screw a girl in his office, but she belonged to someone else.
One day, Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to her and said I'll give you a $1000 dollars if you let me screw you, but the girl said, "No."
Johnny said, "I'll be fast, I'll throw the money on the floor, you bend down, I'll be finished by the time you pick it up."
She thought for a moment and said that she would have to consult her boyfriend. She called her boyfriend and told him the story.
Her boyfriend says "Ask him for $2000 dollars, pick up the money very fast, he won't even be able to get his pants down."
So she agrees and accepts the proposal. Half an hour goes by and the boyfriend is waiting for his girlfriend to call. Finally after 45 minutes the boyfriend calls and asks "What happened?"
She replies "The s.o.b. used coins."
They bouth laughts and drink from the bottles again.
Lemmy: So Dizzy lets sing something together, what are you going to say?
Dizzy: Sure! Why not?
The band goes on the stage and get prepeared to play. Lemmy get his guitar and with Dizzy get on the stage.
Lemmy: OK Dizzy boy we are going to sing something on Disturbed. Ready?
Dizzy: HELL YEAH!
The band starts to play.
Lemmy: You walk on like a woman in suffering
Lemmy & Dizzy: Won't even bother now to tell me why
Dizzy: You come alone, letting all of us savor the moment
L: Leaving me broken another time
D: You come on like a bloodstained hurricane
L: Leave me alone, let me be this time
L&D: You carry on like a holy man pushing redemption
I don't want to mention, the reason I know
D: That I am stricken and can't let you go
L: When the heart is cold, there's no hope, and we know
D: That I am crippled by all that you've done
D&L: Into the abyss will I run...
D: You don't know what your power has done to me
L: I want to know if I'll heal inside
D: I can't go on with a holocaust about to happen
L&D: Seeing you laughing another time
L: You'll never know how your face has haunted me
D: My very soul has to bleed this time
L: Another hole in the wall of my inner defenses
L&D: Leaving me breathless, the reason I know
That I am stricken and can't let you go
L: When the heart is cold, there's no hope, and we know
D: That I am crippled by all that you've done
D&L: Into the abyss will I run...
Into the abyss will I run...
Lemmy: You walk on like a woman in suffering
Lemmy & Dizzy: Won't even bother now to tell me why
Dizzy: You come alone, letting all of us savor the moment
L: Leaving me broken another time
D: You come on like a bloodstained hurricane
L: Leave me alone, let me be this time
L&D: You carry on like a holy man pushing redemption
I don't want to mention, the reason I know
L&D: That I am stricken and can't let you go
L: When the heart is cold, there's no hope, and we know
D: That I am crippled by all that you've done
D&L: Into the abyss will I run...
Into the abyss will I run...
I can't let you go!
Yes I am stricken and can't let you go!
After the song they bond and goes backon the bar.
Lemmy: COME ON MATE MORE BEER! I will be right back. I'll just go find a girl. Coz there arte so beautiful girls around. BBS!
Lemmy starts walking around the bar looking for a girl leaving Dizzy on the bar.
TBC by anyone
