Post by Jonny Stripes on Mar 11, 2006 10:43:31 GMT 10
A thumping sound is heard, one with a deep bass line. It gets closer as the camera moves down the street, which is filled with the darkness of night. Past a lamp post, with no light emanating from its top, the night rolls on, the bass getting louder until the camera reaches a dirty door, one with a dark wooden board awkwardly nailed on to cover a hole.
Through two dirty windows we can see that there is a throng of life inside, everyone eagerly crowding around a central part of the warehouse.
The door opens and we see inside that there is a broken down, very old ring, patches covering the more worn parts of the ring. The crowd doesn’t seem to mind the dirge of the ring, nor of the mess around them, the beer cans at their feet, hotdogs trodden into the concrete floor of the warehouse.
A fat man, in one hand a beer, in the other a loudspeaker, is standing in the middle of the ring, acting as the ring announcer. Two pretty girls wearing bikinis are dancing on each turnbuckle post, psyching the crowd
Fat Guy: “Ladies and Gentlemen, I welcome you to another edition of Sydney Wrestling Rings, Australian…Crawl!”
The crowd roar, seemingly blowing the roof off the small yet packed out warehouse. There is no barrier separating the ring from the fans, and because of this people are banging on the apron of all four sides of the ring.
Fat Guy: “Now it is just about the time that I introduce to you, our SWR Crawl Champion…Psycho Bill”
The crowd boos as a fat, hairy man comes out from the adapted dressing room doors. In his hand he holds a flimsy piece of leather, with a gold plate in the middle of it. A crude engraving of the island of Australia is on the plate, with SWR on the front. The title isn’t big enough to fit around his waist, and so he has to carry it. He cuts a swathe through the crowd and climbs in to the ring. He goes to grab one of the two girls but they quickly bail the ring
The crowd is booing still and are casually throwing things in Psycho Bills direction. He walks around the ring menacingly, before handing over the title to the referee. The crowd continues to buzz as they wait for the challenger
Fat Guy: “And now, here he is the challenger from America, MR.U-S-A!”
A big, very well built man runs through the same path as Psycho Bill. A few of the fans rub the top of his mask, which is coloured in the American flags colours. He gets in the ring and poses to the crowd, before Psycho Bill sneaks up on him and knocks him down
The fight goes on and on and it looks like it is over when MR. U-S-A body slams Psycho Bill and points to the top rope. Unfortunately Bill was so psycho and fat that he didn’t feel anything. Bill hits Jonny with a low blow, grabs the back of his tights, rolls into a pin and gets the three counts, hanging onto the ropes for good measure. He gets up and grabs his title off of the ref and goes to hit a cheap shot boot on MR. U-S-A but he catches the boot and hits an enziguiri on Psycho Bill, before throwing him from the ring.
MR. U-S-A grabs the loudspeaker and starts to speak to the pumping crowd. The loudspeaker isn’t very loud and he can’t get them to be quiet. So he pulls his mask off. And then we see it. It is indeed, DUEW Wrestler Jonny Stripes, wrestling under a guise. The crowd goes dead quiet and Jonny has their undivided attention
Jonny: “Now that I indeed do have your attention I want y’all to listen in really good. I hope none of you b-a-s-tards aren’t filming this shit, cos that asshole employer of mine, Mr. “I don’t need a first name” Howard would fire my shiny American ass if he knew I was moonlighting for this place. So turn off all that shit…ah what the hell, let the idiot find out. What is he going to do? Fire my ass? I doubt it!”
The crowd cheers for Jonny
Jonny: “You may wonder- heck I know you are wondering- why it is that I have been moonlighting, and why I agreed to job to some fat ass, part time wrestler in an indy wrestling club. Well I will tell you why, its because Mr. Howard is running a freak show out there in DUEW. He isn’t using me right, well Howard you can’t do a damn thing about this and if you try, I promise you will pay big time”
Jonny snarls the last bit into the speaker, before handing it over to the ring announcer and leaving the ring through the crowded warehouse to huge cheers from the hot crowd.
**THE NEXT DAY**
Mr. Howard is quietly sitting at his desk, flipping something over in his hands continuously. He has a very serious look on his face and seems a bit tense. He stares at the thing in his hands one last time before looking up and shouting to his secretary.
Mr. H: “Susan, take this to Bill in AV and tell him to be ready to play it”
Susan comes in and takes the thing from Mr. Howards hand, a video tape with “SWR-Stripes Speech” scrawled on a white label. The secretary leaves the room and soon after Mr. Howard follows
**AFTER A COMMERCIAL**
The show comes back from a commercial to find Mr. Howard in the ring, “No Chance” playing through the speakers. The crowd is quiet, not knowing what to expect as Mr. H gets on the mike
Mr. H: “As a global wrestling enterprise there are some things which myself nor the Down Under Extreme Wrestling corporation can tolerate. Working for another promotion without permission is a serious breach of contract- that is why I need to invite a certain member of staff down to the ring. But before I do that, I would like to show you all a bit of footage from a certain independent promotion called SWR”
Mr. Howard points to the big screen and a tape starts to roll of the action involving MR. U-S-A v Psycho Bill for the SWR Title. We see the ending and the tape stops
Mr. H: “Now what are you thinking in your stupid little heads? Are you thinking, I am signing one of these wresters…HELL NO. Keep rolling…”
The tape continues and we see MR. U-S-A struggling to get himself heard. We then see him proceed to reveal his identity and rip on Mister and Mrs. Howard. The tape stops finally with Jonny promising to make the Howards pay big time.
Mr. H: “Some strong words there but here are some more- YOUR ARSE IS FIRED!”
The crowd starts to boo the decision, seeing a face turn is imminent for Jonny. Suddenly “Don’t Dream Its Over” by Crowded House plays through the speakers and Brendan Howard and Nicho “Z” come out to a huge ovation. The music stops and both men take up a mike as they enter the ring
Brendan: “Sorry dad, but you see Jonny came to me this morning and said he thought you might try to pull a trick like this, so we took, lets say preventative measures to stop you from firing this individual who has done so much for our company”
Nicho: “You see, Jonny Stripes’ contract runs out in 3 months dawg, so we thought we would secure the talents of this performer by canceling that contract and presenting him with a Guran-damn-teed contract for an entire year!”
The crowd goes crazy as Mr. Howard starts to get very angry
Brendan: “Looks like we played you for fools again, aye dad?”
“Kashmir” by Led Zepellin plays and Jonny comes down to the ring to a huge cheer from the crowd. He gets in the ring and wastes no time in getting to business. Brendan and Nicho stand next to each other in the corner of the ring and start laughing. Jonny spears Mr. Howard to the floor and starts pummeling him with punches before getting to his feet and dragging Howie with him. Nicho points up and Brendan follows lead. Jonny shouts out “He’s going up” and lifts him up by his next, bringing him crashing down into a sit-down powerbomb
Nicho comes towards Jonny and the two hug, before Brendan does the same. Nicho pulls out a contract and Brendan gives Jonny a pen. Jonny signs the guaranteed contract and Brendan goes to shake his hand but Jonny hits him with a huge right hand. Brendan goes to floor and soon Nicho does too, as Jonny scores with a field goal kick between the legs. Jonny lifts Brendan to his feet and hits a Sit Down Powerbomb on him too
Jonny turns around and faces Mr. Howard. The crowd is hot but don’t know whether to cheer or boo Jonnys actions. Jonny lifts Howie to his feet but doesn’t do anything. After a few seconds Mr. Howard says to Jonny, very quietly “You owe me”. Jonny walks out of the ring and half way up the ramp he looks back at Mr. Howard and simply nods, with Howard giving a nod back to him as he walks up the ramp and out of site
Through two dirty windows we can see that there is a throng of life inside, everyone eagerly crowding around a central part of the warehouse.
The door opens and we see inside that there is a broken down, very old ring, patches covering the more worn parts of the ring. The crowd doesn’t seem to mind the dirge of the ring, nor of the mess around them, the beer cans at their feet, hotdogs trodden into the concrete floor of the warehouse.
A fat man, in one hand a beer, in the other a loudspeaker, is standing in the middle of the ring, acting as the ring announcer. Two pretty girls wearing bikinis are dancing on each turnbuckle post, psyching the crowd
Fat Guy: “Ladies and Gentlemen, I welcome you to another edition of Sydney Wrestling Rings, Australian…Crawl!”
The crowd roar, seemingly blowing the roof off the small yet packed out warehouse. There is no barrier separating the ring from the fans, and because of this people are banging on the apron of all four sides of the ring.
Fat Guy: “Now it is just about the time that I introduce to you, our SWR Crawl Champion…Psycho Bill”
The crowd boos as a fat, hairy man comes out from the adapted dressing room doors. In his hand he holds a flimsy piece of leather, with a gold plate in the middle of it. A crude engraving of the island of Australia is on the plate, with SWR on the front. The title isn’t big enough to fit around his waist, and so he has to carry it. He cuts a swathe through the crowd and climbs in to the ring. He goes to grab one of the two girls but they quickly bail the ring
The crowd is booing still and are casually throwing things in Psycho Bills direction. He walks around the ring menacingly, before handing over the title to the referee. The crowd continues to buzz as they wait for the challenger
Fat Guy: “And now, here he is the challenger from America, MR.U-S-A!”
A big, very well built man runs through the same path as Psycho Bill. A few of the fans rub the top of his mask, which is coloured in the American flags colours. He gets in the ring and poses to the crowd, before Psycho Bill sneaks up on him and knocks him down
The fight goes on and on and it looks like it is over when MR. U-S-A body slams Psycho Bill and points to the top rope. Unfortunately Bill was so psycho and fat that he didn’t feel anything. Bill hits Jonny with a low blow, grabs the back of his tights, rolls into a pin and gets the three counts, hanging onto the ropes for good measure. He gets up and grabs his title off of the ref and goes to hit a cheap shot boot on MR. U-S-A but he catches the boot and hits an enziguiri on Psycho Bill, before throwing him from the ring.
MR. U-S-A grabs the loudspeaker and starts to speak to the pumping crowd. The loudspeaker isn’t very loud and he can’t get them to be quiet. So he pulls his mask off. And then we see it. It is indeed, DUEW Wrestler Jonny Stripes, wrestling under a guise. The crowd goes dead quiet and Jonny has their undivided attention
Jonny: “Now that I indeed do have your attention I want y’all to listen in really good. I hope none of you b-a-s-tards aren’t filming this shit, cos that asshole employer of mine, Mr. “I don’t need a first name” Howard would fire my shiny American ass if he knew I was moonlighting for this place. So turn off all that shit…ah what the hell, let the idiot find out. What is he going to do? Fire my ass? I doubt it!”
The crowd cheers for Jonny
Jonny: “You may wonder- heck I know you are wondering- why it is that I have been moonlighting, and why I agreed to job to some fat ass, part time wrestler in an indy wrestling club. Well I will tell you why, its because Mr. Howard is running a freak show out there in DUEW. He isn’t using me right, well Howard you can’t do a damn thing about this and if you try, I promise you will pay big time”
Jonny snarls the last bit into the speaker, before handing it over to the ring announcer and leaving the ring through the crowded warehouse to huge cheers from the hot crowd.
**THE NEXT DAY**
Mr. Howard is quietly sitting at his desk, flipping something over in his hands continuously. He has a very serious look on his face and seems a bit tense. He stares at the thing in his hands one last time before looking up and shouting to his secretary.
Mr. H: “Susan, take this to Bill in AV and tell him to be ready to play it”
Susan comes in and takes the thing from Mr. Howards hand, a video tape with “SWR-Stripes Speech” scrawled on a white label. The secretary leaves the room and soon after Mr. Howard follows
**AFTER A COMMERCIAL**
The show comes back from a commercial to find Mr. Howard in the ring, “No Chance” playing through the speakers. The crowd is quiet, not knowing what to expect as Mr. H gets on the mike
Mr. H: “As a global wrestling enterprise there are some things which myself nor the Down Under Extreme Wrestling corporation can tolerate. Working for another promotion without permission is a serious breach of contract- that is why I need to invite a certain member of staff down to the ring. But before I do that, I would like to show you all a bit of footage from a certain independent promotion called SWR”
Mr. Howard points to the big screen and a tape starts to roll of the action involving MR. U-S-A v Psycho Bill for the SWR Title. We see the ending and the tape stops
Mr. H: “Now what are you thinking in your stupid little heads? Are you thinking, I am signing one of these wresters…HELL NO. Keep rolling…”
The tape continues and we see MR. U-S-A struggling to get himself heard. We then see him proceed to reveal his identity and rip on Mister and Mrs. Howard. The tape stops finally with Jonny promising to make the Howards pay big time.
Mr. H: “Some strong words there but here are some more- YOUR ARSE IS FIRED!”
The crowd starts to boo the decision, seeing a face turn is imminent for Jonny. Suddenly “Don’t Dream Its Over” by Crowded House plays through the speakers and Brendan Howard and Nicho “Z” come out to a huge ovation. The music stops and both men take up a mike as they enter the ring
Brendan: “Sorry dad, but you see Jonny came to me this morning and said he thought you might try to pull a trick like this, so we took, lets say preventative measures to stop you from firing this individual who has done so much for our company”
Nicho: “You see, Jonny Stripes’ contract runs out in 3 months dawg, so we thought we would secure the talents of this performer by canceling that contract and presenting him with a Guran-damn-teed contract for an entire year!”
The crowd goes crazy as Mr. Howard starts to get very angry
Brendan: “Looks like we played you for fools again, aye dad?”
“Kashmir” by Led Zepellin plays and Jonny comes down to the ring to a huge cheer from the crowd. He gets in the ring and wastes no time in getting to business. Brendan and Nicho stand next to each other in the corner of the ring and start laughing. Jonny spears Mr. Howard to the floor and starts pummeling him with punches before getting to his feet and dragging Howie with him. Nicho points up and Brendan follows lead. Jonny shouts out “He’s going up” and lifts him up by his next, bringing him crashing down into a sit-down powerbomb
Nicho comes towards Jonny and the two hug, before Brendan does the same. Nicho pulls out a contract and Brendan gives Jonny a pen. Jonny signs the guaranteed contract and Brendan goes to shake his hand but Jonny hits him with a huge right hand. Brendan goes to floor and soon Nicho does too, as Jonny scores with a field goal kick between the legs. Jonny lifts Brendan to his feet and hits a Sit Down Powerbomb on him too
Jonny turns around and faces Mr. Howard. The crowd is hot but don’t know whether to cheer or boo Jonnys actions. Jonny lifts Howie to his feet but doesn’t do anything. After a few seconds Mr. Howard says to Jonny, very quietly “You owe me”. Jonny walks out of the ring and half way up the ramp he looks back at Mr. Howard and simply nods, with Howard giving a nod back to him as he walks up the ramp and out of site