*Advertisement Promo*

[Matt Hare]

**The Hare's face appears up on the big titan-tron screen. He is sitting in a room with racks of tights and ring-jackets on them**

The Hare: Good evening ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the first official opening of the new range of tights and ring-jackets from "Wear Of The Hare"!

**crowd boo**

The Hare: Yes, I know...you are all very excited to see this new range. I will start off with the new colours of tights...

**The Hare picks up a pair of camoflauge print tights**

The Hare: These are one of my favourites, they are called "invisibility."

**The Hare picks up a few pairs. First he holds up a pair with black stripes on them, looking like a barcode**

The Hare: Now these are very cool...they are called "Barcode."

**He then holds up a brown pair, with a cartoon hare at the bottom of the right leg**

The Hare: OK, these are called "Anitoon". Oh sorry folks, I have just got a message from Mr Howard and he has told me to hurry up so I will just tell you the names and colours so you can order your favourites.

Green Camoflague - Invistibility
White tights with black Pin-stripes - Barcode
Brown with Cartoon Hare - Anitoon
Black with white "scratch" marks - Attack
TieDye (hippy colours) - TyDyGy
Fluro colours on each leg [pink (front of right) green (front of left) yellow (back of right) orange (back of left)] - Retro
Black tights with flames on each leg and across bum - ManOnFire
Royal Blue - King
Agua Blue - Hydro
Red - Burn
Maroon - Bear
White - Angel
Black - Original
Silver - Alfoil
Gold - One
Pink - BigKiss
Orange - Fruit

**crowd boo in boredom**

The Hare: Oh sorry guys, Mr Howard has just told me to finish up...I will give you more info later...

**The screen slowly fades away until it is pitch black**

[nicho]

*as the screen fully fades the crowed continue chanting BORING, BORING, BORING and then in the end begins to play and the crowed go carzy and nicho Z makes his way to the ring with a mic in hand*

Nicho: and thank god he has told you to finish up you litttle girl!!

(crowed laugh)

Nicho: Please stop wasting precious air-time because it isnt only making me sick but its making the thousands of people in this building and millions around the world sick, but the only way to shut you up is to show you how well the hard knoxx gear is going.... everyone look at the screen!!

*every one looks at the big screen and it has how much of what has been sold*

AFTER 1 AND A HALF WEEKS:

hard Knoxx t-shirts - 15,459
hard knoxx hats - 10, 894
Hard knoxx sweatbands - 5,760
hard knoxx jumpers- 13, 123
hard knoxx bubble heads - 1,400
hard knoxx poster - 17,509
hard knoxx pendant - 5,482
hard knoxx book - 4,587
hard knoxx Nicho t-shirt - 24,009
hard knoxx Knightmare T-shirt - 24,010
hard knoxx Snake T-shirt - 17,800
Hard knoxx Alana-Marie T-shirt - 12,006
hard knoxx inflatable Bat - 1,727

*screen changes back to normal after Nicho reads the figures out*

Nicho: Now without braging i think our merc is just a little more popular than yours!!

(crowed cheer and chant HARD KNOXX, HARD KNOXX)

Nicho: So next time you come out here and promote you shit gear please give these people a warning so they can go and take a piss break!!

(crowed laughing so much and then it slowly turns into NI-CHO- Z chants)

*in the end begins to play and nicho walks down to a 2 kids at ringside both holding a sign... one saying "HARD" and the other saying "KNOXX" and nicho takes his shirt off and gives it to one of the kids and gives his hat to the other kid and nicho picks then both up and brings them in the ring.... then picks them both up, one on each shoulder and they are holding the hard knoxx signs up*

(crowed cheering crazily)

[Matt Hare]

**The Hare walks out with a mic and a folded-up t-shirt in his hand**

The Hare: Yeah, OK, maybe you have sold more merchandise than me but that is only because all of your ugly, style-less fans buy it because they think they are cool!

**crowd boo**

The Hare: But since nobody in the DUEW has any sense in style, let me show you the newest release from "Wear of The Hare"....

**The Hare holds up a black t-shirt with a picture of an angry cartoon Hare on the front with "HARE" written under it in ripped cloth. On the back it has the word "Back" written at the top**

The Hare: I know you are all wondering why it says "back"... Well it's because everyone wants to be like me!

**The Hare takes off his "Gon-Drunk Sports Bar" t-shirt and reveals his new tattoo. It is the word "BACK" written across the top of his back, just like on the t-shirt**